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On boxing day in 2007 whilst watching a CNN news broadcast, a special report was aired regarding some Japanese men´s extreme change in attitudes in the treatment of their wives, and I must confess, I found the content of the report quite fascinating, because it really did get my attention.
The story was that there were social clubs for men like ´Husband Clubs´, springing up in every nook and cranny of Japan, aimed at helping their all male members protect their marriages, as divorce rates had shot up at the time. These clubs mottos for their devout members when dealing with their wives in situations of conflicts we were told ranges from `` I can´t win, I won´t win and I don´t want to win!´´ to ``If you want to keep your wife change your life´´. And another is the ``Wife first, work second´´ principle. With the final one, which some Japanese men found the most difficult dealing with , was having to repeat at every opportunity the words ´ thank you´, ´I´m sorry´, and ´ I love you´. I´m sure like me, you might be wondering why sudden changes in attitude in a country where men commanded so much obedience, loyalty and respect from their wives.Well, it is simply because the Japanese government passed a legislation which allowed women in that country to walk away with half the man´s pension if divorced-Ouch!
The main side attraction for me in this special report, however, was a particular instance of a Japanese business man; a newly subscribed member of the ´Husband Club´ - the type who would normally work ´25hours a day´ and ´8days a week´(if you know what I mean)-who gave up work to temporarily become a ´family man´. From carrying loads of shopping bags whilst his bewildered wife looked on-perhaps wondering what the special occasion was, to changing diapers for their baby. Not that this is in anyway shape or form unusual, as it is what any responsible dad would do under normal circumstances. However, what made it somewhat hilarious was the gripping fact that prior to the government´s legislation which was passed in Japan-awarding women half the man´s pension if divorced- this same man hardly knew what the cost of a diaper was, let alone how to change one.
So, are these men being romantic and responsible to save their marriages, or perhaps just trying to save their wallets? Well, only time will tell because it seems more and more apparent that the fear of losing half one´s pension might just be the beginning of wisdom.
Moving on to the Chinese men, whilst reading a newspaper article sometime back , I was quite amazed to find out there were at least 4 million more men in China than women at the time, with a startling projection that by the year 2020 there might be 30 million more men in the same country than women: so much for male choice. From these figures, women in those parts appear like an endangered species, gradually drifting towards extinction. This perhaps could be attributed to the Chinese government´s previous ´one-child´ state policy, aimed at curbing population explosion-especially those of the female gender. However, other social practices such as female foetuses being terminated or officially being given up for foreign adoption (studies show at least 15,000 are adopted yearly) results in more men increasingly being unable to find partners.
So due to the staggering shortage of women, having the right woman and being in a good relationship for an average Chinese man in China might be good news, because once he is single and available again, there is no telling where his next date will come from, let alone a serious relationship. Against this particular backdrop, a little word of advice, if you´re ever on vacation to China : Don´t try consoling a Chinese man who has just been dumped by his companion with the line ``There are many more fish in the sea´´ because quite frankly for him, there aren´t. (Jokes – But I´m quite sure we all get the point)
The story was that there were social clubs for men like ´Husband Clubs´, springing up in every nook and cranny of Japan, aimed at helping their all male members protect their marriages, as divorce rates had shot up at the time. These clubs mottos for their devout members when dealing with their wives in situations of conflicts we were told ranges from `` I can´t win, I won´t win and I don´t want to win!´´ to ``If you want to keep your wife change your life´´. And another is the ``Wife first, work second´´ principle. With the final one, which some Japanese men found the most difficult dealing with , was having to repeat at every opportunity the words ´ thank you´, ´I´m sorry´, and ´ I love you´. I´m sure like me, you might be wondering why sudden changes in attitude in a country where men commanded so much obedience, loyalty and respect from their wives.Well, it is simply because the Japanese government passed a legislation which allowed women in that country to walk away with half the man´s pension if divorced-Ouch!
The main side attraction for me in this special report, however, was a particular instance of a Japanese business man; a newly subscribed member of the ´Husband Club´ - the type who would normally work ´25hours a day´ and ´8days a week´(if you know what I mean)-who gave up work to temporarily become a ´family man´. From carrying loads of shopping bags whilst his bewildered wife looked on-perhaps wondering what the special occasion was, to changing diapers for their baby. Not that this is in anyway shape or form unusual, as it is what any responsible dad would do under normal circumstances. However, what made it somewhat hilarious was the gripping fact that prior to the government´s legislation which was passed in Japan-awarding women half the man´s pension if divorced- this same man hardly knew what the cost of a diaper was, let alone how to change one.
So, are these men being romantic and responsible to save their marriages, or perhaps just trying to save their wallets? Well, only time will tell because it seems more and more apparent that the fear of losing half one´s pension might just be the beginning of wisdom.
Moving on to the Chinese men, whilst reading a newspaper article sometime back , I was quite amazed to find out there were at least 4 million more men in China than women at the time, with a startling projection that by the year 2020 there might be 30 million more men in the same country than women: so much for male choice. From these figures, women in those parts appear like an endangered species, gradually drifting towards extinction. This perhaps could be attributed to the Chinese government´s previous ´one-child´ state policy, aimed at curbing population explosion-especially those of the female gender. However, other social practices such as female foetuses being terminated or officially being given up for foreign adoption (studies show at least 15,000 are adopted yearly) results in more men increasingly being unable to find partners.
So due to the staggering shortage of women, having the right woman and being in a good relationship for an average Chinese man in China might be good news, because once he is single and available again, there is no telling where his next date will come from, let alone a serious relationship. Against this particular backdrop, a little word of advice, if you´re ever on vacation to China : Don´t try consoling a Chinese man who has just been dumped by his companion with the line ``There are many more fish in the sea´´ because quite frankly for him, there aren´t. (Jokes – But I´m quite sure we all get the point)
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